Little Iktomi

You used my whole identity as a web

Being NDN, and not being NDN enough

Being forever in love with women disgusted by my attention

Disgusted by their own flattery in it

 

Little Iktomi

I hear about you everywhere and in unexpected places

My new friends tell me about you…

As if I do not know the name of the cat you had as a little girl

As if I do not know your first and subsequent lovers

 

They tell me about you as if we had never met…

As if I never felt the warmth of your stomach

Against mine

As if we had not breathed together, shared food and words with each other

 

These strangers have the audacity to tell me what you are up to and who you might be…

As if I do not know about the two abortions you had

And how you got pregnant in the first place

 

The stars in their eyes are not going to fall out any time soon

Lovesick thralls speaking of your nobility

Perhaps, we are all entitled to our waking dreams

Believing in something, hoping that playful does not really mean sadistic

 

Little Iktomi

What would I sound like if I told them about the Deer Woman spells you cast?

Dancing on clouds

Jumping over five strands of barbed wire in human form….

Out on a South Dakota prairie somewhere

Like those reservation hitchhikers of otherworldly beauty

Hoof marks on the back seats of old cars

 

What would I sound like if I told them about being led astray and lost in a forest?

Another face growing out of the side and back of your head

Skeletons around your home always interpreted as someone else’s mistakes

About stirring pots of genitals… just like all the old time stories

 

What would it sound like if I told them about the magic of Lakota star highways?

Then, they would finally know that I loved you

 

Little Iktomi, the Deer Woman of my life, my black magic

My bad karma from a time before memories

I wish my heart could break in sunlight

I wish it could break aloud

I wish I no longer had to call you by anything other than your ancient names

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