My mind plots and plans

It sees all possible futures, which all but one I know will happen

Perhaps, there are other futures in different universes

Maybe all time is circular and I came back in time to warn myself of her

Like all heroes I should have listened, revisited my options


The deceit was not fatal but it could have been

A version of me that I had some attachment to died

You cannot unknow what is seared into you with deliberate violence

And reckless indifference


Now, I agonize about my cravings, my needs, the checks I receive with insufficient commas

The sheer uncertainty of it all

I plan to worry instead of worrying that I have not planned

There are no straight line journeys


Some relief would be nice

An opportunity to move into solar dreams

To live there

Trips to the Cosmic Temple, virtual fires, and making the ground clean

I have nothing left but prayer